Self-Protection For Empaths
For empaths and other sensitive creatures, protection is non negotiable.
Just like with any vulnerability or sensitivity, while it can be extremely beneficial, it can also be damaging if you don’t take proper measures to protect yourself. Bullet proof vests, sunblock, condoms—all wonderful inventions! But when it comes to emotional sensitivity, it’s not always clear what the best method of protection is. There are many ways to self-protect, and like most things, it’s highly individual.
One way would be to seclude yourself on a mountain top and never interact with others. The pro is that it's a sure-fire guarantee that you'll never emotionally or physically injure yourself by being too close to anyone. The cons significantly outweigh the pros, though.
Here are some better ideas I’ve picked up over the years:
The psychic John Edwards recommends meditating everyday and envisioning a white light of protection (almost like a forcefield) around yourself. You can do this preemptively if you know you are going into a situation where you may be encountering other people’s heavy emotions and energy, in addition to practicing this type of meditation daily.
My therapist learned early on when working with clients to separate their issues from herself. She would repeat the phrase, “not mine” to herself over and over again before, after, and sometimes during a session. This ensured that whatever emotional turmoil she encountered, she would not internalize.
Sometimes when talking to others, I engage in a form of mindful grounding. I like to touch something or hold something in my hand (you could also just notice how your butt feels in the chair or your foot feels on the ground). This reminds me that I am physically separate from the other person.
I like to materialize the negative energy, make it tangible, so it's easier to visualize and remove. John Edwards also suggests that after an experience where you absorb another's emotions/energy, you shower. As you lather up with soap, visualize the negativity as physical dirt on your skin. Lather it, acknowledge it, then with intention, rinse it off and watch the suds go down the drain. Let them fall off your body and away from you.
Another way to remove the energy is during stretching. Physically imagine the stress/negativity shooting out of your hands as you reach up and out, or melting off your arms as you fold forward. You can literally "shake it off."
It's important to be present with your client/patient/friend/coworker/significant other when they are experiencing difficult emotions. Even as they exert heaviness onto you, it’s important not to be too distracted by your own thoughts. It's called active listening. At the same time, it's important to be present in your own body and notice how you are feeling.
It's a fine balance to separate myself just enough from others so that I am sympathetic, but do not suffer their pains along with them. My burdens are mine, and their burdens are theirs. If I feel myself getting pulled into something that is making me feel sick or anxious, I simply pull back. Unfortunately I can’t always catch it before hand; I sometimes have to experience the “too close” feeling to know I’ve gone too far. But that's part of the learning process, and gets easier with time.
Self-protection is a form of self-care, and especially necessary for empaths. There is no one, measurable method that works for everyone. The most important tool is self awareness. The more sensitive you are, the more you’ll be able to tell which types of people and situations you need a barrier from, and what you can do before, during, and after the interactions to protect your empathetic self.
How do you invoke self protection, while still being close to others?